i am leaving the tumblworld as unceremoniously as i entered it. The title of my blog has been “manic pixie dream disaster #typical” as a celebration of my somewhat twisted ambition to be “free-spirited, beautiful, creative, interesting, obnoxious, unconventional, and have a dark side that would help male protagonists around the world learn something about themselves and life in general—whilst maintaining my sense of realism and awareness that i am not a special snowflake despite all of this.”
well, i’m sick of it basically. It’s time for me to join the rest of the world. to stop trying so hard to be interesting whilst simultaneously claiming that it’s all meaningless anyways.
Don’t get me wrong, I will still be me. with a healthier attitude and hopefully more self-respect. I am going to have goals, and dreams, and crap.
I scheduled my behind the wheel test! I actually told my parents some of what is going on in my personal life! I am starting to trust myself again, and maybe soon i will be trustworthy too.
I am joining a group of people who meet on tuesday nights and work for the end of human trafficking.
i am planning to at some point soon start going on dates. non-exclusive, non-scandalous, healthy dates. im not looking for a boyfriend or a husband or a one night stand or to control someone or be controlled. I want to learn more about people and how to be one.
i am going to graduate, and find a place to live.
My life will be a celebration of creativity and love and life-I’m going to bring glory to God.
I think, maybe, im going to be okay.
ill screw up too. a lot probably. im still a mess, and my life is still a mess. but i will be okay. i will stick around for my life.
I can’t believe i was almost gone. I was so close.
bye bye tumblr.
